Anchoring into Gratitude this Thanksgiving

During the holiday season and especially around Thanksgiving, you may notice there is a certain pressure to perform and often even pretend that we are cheerful, grateful, and thankful. Yet, while the holiday season celebrates gratitude, there is often an increase in anxiety, loneliness, depression and other mental health issues around the holiday time. Research shows that these mental health issues are due to the triggers of being in your childhood home, being around your family, societal pressures and/or not having plans. Simply, the holiday times can be hard. In this blog post, we will discuss how to feel those more difficult emotions AND still try to cultivate gratitude for ourselves this holiday season.

Misconceptions About Gratitude

The first myth I often hear from clients about gratitude is that gratitude is just over positive thinking which leads to complacency. Many people believe that if we practice gratitude, then we won’t be motivated to try harder and grow. Rather, we would just stay stagnant because everything is just “fine” or “positive”. Research shows that actually the opposite is true; that if you practice gratitude daily, you tend to be more motivated to continue to grow and have more success in reaching your goals. (https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_myths_about_gratitude)

Another misconception I hear regarding gratitude is that gratitude is impossible when you are surrounded by more negatively associated emotions, adversity or suffering. Our response to that is yes, it is of course easier to find things you are grateful for amidst more positive and abundant times, but that doesn't mean it's impossible to feel grateful when you are feeling sadness, hurt, anger, anxiety, loneliness, or depression. In fact, those are the exact times when gratitude can become an important resource to get you through hard emotional times. When you notice gratitude in difficult times, you are able to anchor into the present rather than spiraling out into an abyss of anxiety or depression. When practicing gratitude, you are able to stay present with all of your emotions and stay grounded. Those who practice gratitude are more likely to be able to overcome adversity.

Benefits of Gratitude

The benefits of gratitude are very well researched. The practice of expressing gratitude not only to others, but also to yourself, is highly correlated with the emotion of happiness. Many individuals begin to feel happier, more present, energetic, motivated and alive. Gratitude is also correlated with a more positive outlook on the world.

Those who practice gratitude daily are more likely to care for themselves and in turn, give back to others within their community. From this, they feel more connected to the social support around them. A gratitude practice also tends to be correlated with an abundance mindset, which can truly impact the way one perceives the world around them.

How to Practice Gratitude

Clearly, there are many benefits to gratitude, but how can we practice gratitude during Thanksgiving when you are surrounded by emotional triggers and more negatively associated feelings? First, take a moment to acknowledge those triggers and what emotional state you are in. Are you sad? Hopeless? Lonely? Unmotivated? Angry? Take a moment and validate those emotions for yourself- it is totally okay to not feel cheerful, happy, or positive on Thanksgiving. Give yourself some space to validate that for yourself.

As we create space for your core emotions, take a moment to ground yourself, notice, and check the facts as to what you do have or what is going well. Gratitude can just be about you rather than external resources or items that you do or don’t have. Instead, focus on yourself, and thank yourself for giving yourself this space for your emotions and what you admire or appreciate about you.

Those who practice gratitude think a bit differently and instead of focusing on what they lack, they focus on what they do have and anchor into that. This could be as big as a goal accomplished or as small the fact you have the ability to wake up. Try to remove the labels of “big” or “small” and notice the emotion of gratitude or pride. Really allow yourself to take in these emotions by noticing how you feel expressing the moment of gratitude.

Other ways to practice gratitude can be writing a thank you note, thanking someone mentally, keeping a gratitude journal, praying or meditation. We suggest starting a small gratitude routine throughout your day to begin practicing and incorporating gratitude into your life, not only for the holidays, but for the rest of the year as well.

Marissa Robinson, LMHC