Does Birth Order have an Impact on the Development of Personality?

There are many things that influence our personalities, our preferences, and the characteristics we embody. Alfred Adler, psychotherapist and founder of Adlerian Psychology, theorized that your birth order within your family impacts your personality. In other words, where you fit within the configuration of your family can have an impact on who you become. Individuals experience different environments within the same family and part of what makes those experiences unique is the birth order. According to Adler, oldest children, middle children, youngest children and only children are all impacted by their place within their family in unique ways. It’s important to note that this theory is not universally accepted, and that not all individuals resonate with it. However, Adler’s theory of birth order prompts an interesting conversation on how there are many different factors throughout development (including your place in the birth order of your family) that can have a huge impact on the adult you become. 

Oldest Children

The first and oldest child in a family has the unique experience of going from an only child to a sibling. The oldest child might have gotten used to a certain amount of attention from their parents and suddenly, their perception of the amount of attention may shift. There’s now a younger sibling who came and changed everything. In many cases the oldest sibling will be asked to “help out” with their younger siblings and take on a more responsible role within the family. It is because of this that oldest children often have traits of maturity, leadership and responsibility.

Youngest Children 

Classically, the youngest children are thought to be the most “babied” of the family and some of the characteristics they possess are because of this treatment. Because the youngest child has both their parents as well as their older siblings to take care of them, they are not necessarily as responsible and therefore they may be a bit more adventurous or laid back. Additionally, by their last child, the parents of the youngest child might be less rigid in their discipline or their rules and that may result in “fewer self-regulation skills”. 

Middle Children

Middle children are by definition former youngest children. They once had all of the doting attention on them, but now they are no longer the “baby of the family”, but they also are not given the special responsibility and “status” of being an oldest child. Because of this, Adler suggests that middle children can feel overlooked and rely on either people pleasing tendencies or attention seeking activities to garner attention. Middle children demonstrate independence as a result of the perceived lack of attention on them. Theoretically, personality traits come about as a result of not having “the rights and responsibilities of the oldest sibling or the privileges of the youngest” sibling. 

Only Children

Only children don’t have any siblings to play with or compete with. It is because of this that Adler posits that only children have the potential to be comfortable with the attention focused on them, less likely to be able to cooperate or collaborate well with others, and display an adult-like maturity. Only children don’t necessarily have as much practice as those individuals with siblings with sharing or learning to “recover” from an argument. Sometimes only children are also more perfectionistic, with all of their parent’s expectations seemingly “falling on them”. 

As previously mentioned, this Adlerian theory of the impact of birth order, is just a theory. In the many years since Alfred Adler came up with the theory, mental health professionals have been doing more research and looking into the validity of the idea that the order you are in your family has any universally similar impact on the characteristics you take on and the person you become. Ultimately, research on the relevance birth order has on your personality and development has proved to be “limited and often inconsistent” and there has been a shift to looking more into “how family environment and dynamics play a role in shaping an individual”. In addition to thinking about how your personal place in your family’s birth order may or may not have had an impact on traits you embody today, also consider the impact of other factors such as: religion, socioeconomic upbringing, physical health history, genetics, parenting, culture and more. 

If you or someone you know is curious about birth order or interested in beginning therapy with one of our great clinicians feel free to contact Be You Psychotherapy.