Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired?: How Small Changes Can Have a Large Impact on Your Life.
We all have told ourselves the same story at some point in our lives. I’ll just start on Monday. I’ll be at the gym six days a week for this entire month. I’ll be on time for work every day this week.
Are you someone who creates an extreme diet, challenge, or goal that never seems to stick? If so, keep on reading.
Within my work as a therapist, I have seen clients with the “all or nothing” mentality, an extreme mindset with no gray area; it is black and white. According to The American Psychological Association, this thought pattern is described as a cognitive distortion as it keeps us from seeing the world as it often is: complex, nuanced, and full of all the shades in between. Instead of thinking of yourself as always right or the biggest failure, you can live in the gray area to accept that sometimes you will succeed, and sometimes you will fail– however, you are not a failure.
Consistency becomes a significant challenge with this type of black-and-white thinking because there is no middle ground when clients live in extremes. If our goals are too big too quickly, how can we sustain them?
The answer here is baby steps! If we can accomplish smaller goals in less time, this leads to greater success. Greater success means more motivation to keep setting goals!
Most importantly, we want to train our minds to take ourselves seriously. When we say we will wake up and go to the gym, our brain says, “Yeah, right!”. This may be because we have not been consistent and accountable due to our all-or-nothing goals in the past.
To combat this mindset and train our brains to take us seriously, we can implement small, measurable goals in our lives. These small changes can not only make a significant impact but can also be a catalyst for the more extreme goals to come. Why? Because with smaller goals, consistency can be achieved.
Goals that are small and measurable can be:
1. I will drink one glass of water every morning for five days.
2. I will work out once this week for 30 minutes.
3. I am going to make social plans twice this month.
If you notice, the goals are small and, to most, achievable. However, setting small goals means showing up for ourselves and successfully making positive changes. This is how confidence is formed and future goals can be met.
To implement these achievable goals, there is a trick called habit stacking. The tool of habit stacking is where you pair a new, small habit with an existing, everyday practice in your routine. One that is consistent and specific. For example, let’s say you decide to drink a glass of water each morning. At which point in the morning are you implementing this goal? By habit stacking, you can stack drinking water immediately after you brush your teeth–given that you do this habit each morning!
Habit stacking has been studied by many behavioral therapists and is highlighted in the books, Habit Stacking: 97 Small Life Changes That Take Five Minutes or Less and Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything.
Now, think about your own life. Where can you make changes? Think about your diet, movement, sleep, socialization, and breathwork. Our lives are multifaceted, and there is always room for improvement as we strive to become our best selves.
Take this post with you. Set a small, measurable goal that you know you can achieve. Once you can successfully get to the gym once a week for 30 minutes, go twice a week.
Baby steps! We all have the power to make changes in our lives. Change is not easy, and more importantly, can the changes we make be sustainable and consistent?
If you are struggling to figure out where to start, consider a free consultation with a therapist at Be You Psychotherapy to break down your goals!
Julia Resnick, LMSW
