Practicing Positive Self-Talk to Minimize Anxiety and Depression
Are you someone who identifies with being hard on yourself and being your own worst critic? If so, you are not alone. An average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 80% are negative, and 95% are repetitive thoughts.
The thoughts in our heads play a large role in our behavior, mood, and overall mental health. The concept of self-talk, the dialogue we have with ourselves throughout our day-to-day lives, is an essential part of mental health to focus our attention.
First, let’s break down the two types of self-talk.
The first is positive self-talk, when people use supportive and affirming language within their thoughts. An example would be, “I am striving for progress, not perfection,” or “I got this. I know I am capable” when beginning a new job, learning a new skill, or simply performing daily tasks.
The other end of the self-talk spectrum is rumination, or negative self-talk, where people may replay possible negative scenarios or thoughts that snowball to create a largely false, defeating narrative. An example of this is someone seeing a handful of their friends become engaged when they are still single. Their thoughts may become, “No one wants to date me; it must be because I’m so ugly, I’m never going to get married.” A negative spiral becomes extremely likely when ruminating because negative thoughts snowball onto one another.
Negative self-talk can lead to increased anxiety or depression when clients' thoughts are filled with cognitive distortions, which are irrational thoughts that influence our emotions. Cognitive distortions may look like playing worst-case scenarios, overgeneralizing, fortune-telling, all-or-nothing thinking, etc. Essentially, negative self-talk allows for these distortions to have a lot of space and weight in people’s minds. These distortions can affect people’s own mental well-being, but also communication with their partners, colleagues, and family.
According to a study published in the Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, people who engage in negative self-talk experience more intense feelings of depression. The danger between negative self-talk and depression arises when clients believe their thoughts to be true and convince themselves of these false narratives.
Therefore, practicing more neutral, positive-self talk can help lower these depressive symptoms and help clients form a more gentle inner dialogue.
Below are helpful tips for practicing positive self-talk.
First, start to self-track and notice the thoughts you are saying to yourself throughout the day.
Next, challenge yourself to check the validity and fairness of those thoughts.
“Am I overgeneralizing?”
“Is this thought factual?”
“Are there other perspectives in this situation?”
“What would I tell my friend in this situation?”
3. Finally, replace and reframe your thoughts with more supportive, gentle language. If you mess up during a job interview, instead of saying, “I’m such a failure; I’m never going to get my dream job,” you can replace these thoughts with, “I know I could’ve done better. I will be better researched and prepared for my next interview.”
Allow yourself to coexist with having good and bad thoughts. Admit to yourself that you are not feeling confident, but also acknowledge that feelings are temporary. Words have weight. Positive self-talk can be one of the most critical aspects of maintaining confidence and mental health.
Ultimately, you set the standard. The most important relationship in your life is the one with yourself. Be your #1 fan, not your worst critic.
As a therapist and human being myself, I know how feelings of depression and anxiety can affect all aspects of our lives. If you are experiencing any of these issues and you are stuck in the cycle of negative self-talk, our team at Be You Psychotherapy is here to provide support and nonjudgemental treatment.
