How to Navigate a Moment of Crisis with the STOP Skill
Do you tend to react to stressful situations impulsively? Do you ever feel it’s difficult for you to navigate a situation when you are overwhelmed with feelings? Do you ever feel that it’s hard for you to calm down when in a stressful situation? This blog post on the DBT skill, STOP, is for anyone who finds themselves struggling to handle moments like these.
DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) is a therapeutic framework that emphasizes specific and structured skills. Using these different skills, DBT aims to progress in four areas: (1) mindfulness, (2) distress tolerance, (3) interpersonal effectiveness, (4) emotional regulation. In pursuit of growth in these four areas, there are many different skills taught throughout one’s therapeutic journey with DBT. If this description sounds familiar, it might be because you recognize it from a previous blog post that touched on a DBT skill called TIPP.
So what is STOP? And how can it help you in a moment of distress?
STOP is an acronym for “stop, take a step back, observe, proceed mindfully”. The STOP skill is a great way to manage moments where you feel overwhelmed with feelings, especially if you find yourself impulsively reacting in those moments. Let’s break down each step:
Stop:
You feel a wave of emotions and begin to feel overwhelmed. The first thing to do is take a moment to stop right where you are. Take a beat, take a breath and remind yourself that you are in the driver’s seat and have control over what you say and do next.
Take a Step Back:
Next, take a step back to be able to see the situation with more clarity. Continue taking some deep breaths and try to soothe yourself. Maybe take this time to try and label the emotions that you are feeling and try not to judge them for being “good” or “bad” emotions.
Observe:
Now that you’ve taken a step back, take a moment to observe what is happening. What are you feeling emotionally? Are you scared, angry, sad, excited? What are you feeling physically? Are you breathless, sweating, crying, smiling? What can you notice about yourself at this moment? Also observe what is happening around you. Take a look at the situation you’re in. Look to who and what is around you and what they are doing. This step of observation is so important, as you can now go into the next step with more clarity and understanding.
Proceed Mindfully:
This is the final step in our STOP skill, and it’s what we have been putting in the work for. Hopefully the first three steps have set us up to proceed in this step with a bit more calmness, intention and clarity. Look at the bigger picture and ask yourself what your goals, needs and desires are. Assess if the reaction you are having to the situation is in proportion to what is going on. Think about the action you want to take next and think through what its consequences might be and if they are consequences you will be okay with. Now, proceed mindfully.
The STOP skill is meant to be implemented in a stressful situation to help you navigate that crisis. It can be especially helpful if in stressful situations you tend to react in the heat of the moment in ways that you often regret after the fact. If you are interested in learning more about the STOP skill and hearing about how you can implement it into your life, reach out to any of the psychotherapists at Be You Psychotherapy for more information!
